Sunday, January 13, 2013
Women in a Patriarchal society
Recently the Delhi gang rape has caught a fire in each and every women in India. If they have not reacted but yes women have started talking about rape openly. At least first time in my life I am openly talking about it with my family, friends and colleague.
What happen to the Delhi girl was absolutely brutal and in human. But gang rapes are happening since long and none of the case have come so strongly, may be because of intensity of this act was way beyond one's imagination.
On 1st January 2013, a 22 year old girl was gang raped and was thrown on the roadside, there are many cases happening in India which are not registered but shows how unsafe is a women in the society. On the top of that a religious leader says that the girl in the Delhi gang rape was equally responsible for that act and a political party leader says that women should not be allowed to work and all they should aspire to become is a home maker.
In a patriarchal society women are still not expected as equals. Forget about being equal, women are still not respected by the society. Apart from the action expected from the government, the whole society should take action by inculcating values in their children and teaching boys how to respect a woman.
How many girls think that the rape happens because of the mini skirts (exposing clothes) wore by girls, no they happen because woman herself shows inaction. I hope once in life time a girl would have faced eve teasing, but all they do is just ignore it. At least I have done that, I rather prefered to change my route where a boy teased me, than complaining about him in the police station, because I think why should I take trouble of going to a police station and telling to an unknown man about what happened. But now I feel that, I wish I would had taken those efforts at least thing would have been noticed by the society.
Anyway, I just wanted to request you that, next time when you feel unsafe or teased by someone do raise your voice, it might help, or at least the same thing may not be experienced by another woman in future.
1 year ago I watched a play called Vagina monologues by Eve Ensler, it is about how women thinks and are treated by the society.
Do watch the interview of Eve Ensler by Barhka Dutt, I promise it will enlighten you
http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/the-buck-stops-here/in-conversation-with-eve-ensler/261009
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Work Out Of Inspiration
If we observe ourselves closely, we will realize that goals always create worry in us. When we move toward a goal, we move only with the worry about the results. Lord Krishna says beautifully in Bhagvad Gita, 'The person who does not expect gain or loss from anything works happily with no need even for motivation'
When we worry, our work gets affected. So, when we are worried about results, the very worry affects the results. Work should always be done out of inspiration, never out of worry. The motivation for any work should be inspiration, not worry. Inspiration is an overflowing energy that expands our capacity to do things. Worry, on the other hand shrinks our capacity and limits what we are really capable of doing because it takes away our energy.
Another major cause of worry occurs when we constantly try to satisfy someone else’s opinion about ourselves. We are conditioned by society to worry about others’ opinion all the time. But the irony is that while we are worried about other’ opinion about ourselves they are worried about our opinion regarding them!
When we are worried about other people’s opinion, we unconsciously weaken our efforts in whatever we are doing. We divert a major part of our energy toward suffering and worry.
We should do thing totally and to the best of our ability and not bother about appreciation from others. We should be clear from the beginning that we and not others are out only stronghold. So there is no worry about others.
The world today is highly competitive and everything is measured by productivity. But we do not realize that worry is a waste of time. It is the most nonproductive activity.
Everyone feels compelled to achieve. Everyone wants to be first and constantly worry about being the last. We should worry only if we do not utilize our ability to the full extent. I we have given our best, there is nothing to feel bad about being the last. It is not a sign of failure; it is a sign of success at a different level.
When we work out of inspiration, we are bothered only about doing the task to the fullest. Any task done with the energy of inspiration always gives good results. Even if it doesn’t give the expected result, we won’t feel bad about it because we have received fulfillment simply be doing it. The ‘doing’ itself will fulfill us.
When we worry, our work gets affected. So, when we are worried about results, the very worry affects the results. Work should always be done out of inspiration, never out of worry. The motivation for any work should be inspiration, not worry. Inspiration is an overflowing energy that expands our capacity to do things. Worry, on the other hand shrinks our capacity and limits what we are really capable of doing because it takes away our energy.
Another major cause of worry occurs when we constantly try to satisfy someone else’s opinion about ourselves. We are conditioned by society to worry about others’ opinion all the time. But the irony is that while we are worried about other’ opinion about ourselves they are worried about our opinion regarding them!
When we are worried about other people’s opinion, we unconsciously weaken our efforts in whatever we are doing. We divert a major part of our energy toward suffering and worry.
We should do thing totally and to the best of our ability and not bother about appreciation from others. We should be clear from the beginning that we and not others are out only stronghold. So there is no worry about others.
The world today is highly competitive and everything is measured by productivity. But we do not realize that worry is a waste of time. It is the most nonproductive activity.
Everyone feels compelled to achieve. Everyone wants to be first and constantly worry about being the last. We should worry only if we do not utilize our ability to the full extent. I we have given our best, there is nothing to feel bad about being the last. It is not a sign of failure; it is a sign of success at a different level.
When we work out of inspiration, we are bothered only about doing the task to the fullest. Any task done with the energy of inspiration always gives good results. Even if it doesn’t give the expected result, we won’t feel bad about it because we have received fulfillment simply be doing it. The ‘doing’ itself will fulfill us.
Friday, March 26, 2010
THING WHICH WE WANT TO VALUE MORE
Procrastination is our enemy no.1. Putting off doing things till another time is the worst of habits a man can suffer from. If at all we want to postpone, let us postpone doing evil things. But we can’t be excused if we put off doing good things till another time. Ravana, the all powerful king of Lanka brought ruin and destruction upon himself because he hastened to incur the enmity of Ram, while he postponed the building of stairs upto heaven, which he had the capacity to do. History and life are witness to the fact that those who acted in time for the execution of good things, were victorious and earned laurels in life, while those who procrastinated and put off doing good things till another time were devoured by time as unfulfilled, unrealized souls, since the moment till when they postponed doing good things never returned. So, the best message for us all is : Do things in time and on time.
A needy man came to king yudhisthra, the eldest of Pandava brothers and begged help “All right, come tomorrow, your need will be fulfilled”, said Yudhisthra.
Bhimsen, the second brother of the Pandavas, got up and he sounded the gong denoting some great victory. “What is this Bhimsen? Why this gong of victory,” Yudhisthra asked surprisingly. “Sir, you have got the better of Kaal, the god of death. Hence, this gong. You are sure to live till tomorrow, you can flout and ignore Death for twenty four hours. Is it not a great victory?” replied Bhimsen in his own style.
Yudhisthra realized the implication of Bhimsen’s statements. Whatever I have to do, I must do it here and now. Why postpone till tomorrow or some future date?
He called back the man and did the needful. The common adage very nicely points to this fact of life; it is an important rule of conduct.
Do to-day, what you postpone doing tomorrow. Do this just now, which you intend to doing today. Deluge may come off any moment. In that case, when next would you do it?
The value of time is often realized after the event or after the person concerned has suffered the consequences of being late. Ask the person the value of a month, who did not go to his work for a month and had a very difficult time for the whole year. Ask the incumbent the value of a day, who joined his service a day after his colleague had given the joining report. He had to be his junior for the whole life. Ask the candidate the value of an hour, who reached late the venue of interview and was rejected for not being serious about his job. Ask the examinee who was late by more than half an hour and was not allowed to enter the examination hall. Ask the traveler the value of time, who missed his train by one minute. The competitor, who wins or loses the gold at the olymipics by a second or a fraction of a second will tell you what every moment counts for success in life. We all know that the great general of all time, Napolean Bonaparte lost the battle of his life, because his regiment had reached the spot a few minutes late.
In the story of the three fish some people take the necessary action as soon as they smell the rat or troubles, some wait till they make sure of imminent danger, while the rest adopt the ostrich way, and allow the trouble to get hold of them. Our young men and women can also be classified under three categories. The greatest sufferers are those who postpone their studies for the last moment.
Those who study for the whole year and do not fritter away even a minute, are the students who fare will at the examinations and earn name and fame for both themselves and their elders and the institutions to which they belong.
Those persons, who know and realize the value of time, know the importance of doing things in time and on time. It is these persons who are able to achieve their bad luck and gods of karma.
Some persons complain of lack of time or opportunity.But the fact is that everyone has time and opportunities do come in everybody’s life. But idle ones do not make use of them and behave like the child who cries over the split milk.
If we do not discharge the responsibilities then and there, they accumulate like the heap of arrears and it is too late when we think of clearing them. Those who do not catch the opportunity by the forelock, miss it forever, for behind it, there is a bald head. And above all, we must remember one thing that we may not live till tomorrow or may not possess the strength or means which we have at our disposal at the moment. The secret of success lies in realizing the importance of every moment and utilizing it. As is rightly said, a busy man has time for everything. If you want a work done, give it to a busy man. The reason is obvious. The busy man makes full use of his time and is in the habit of doing things on time. An idler has no time for doing things. He knows only to squander away his time and make complaints of all sorts under the sun.
As the men of wisdom have said more than once, time and tide wait for nobody, at the same time it is also true that every wave brings with it the energy of the vast ocean, so is the case with time. Every moment is full of the potency of the timeless tome. Pointing to this eternal truth, Lord Sri Krishna had asked Arjuna to do the duty at hand and not indulge in ifs and buts.
God of Time is merciful on those who realize that every moment of time is as valuable as every thread of gold, but they also say that time is a cruel rat that slowly cuts the thread of life. Do save time.
Let these words of Joseph Hall be our guide--- Those who dare lose a day are dangerously prodigal, those who dare misspend It are desperate.
A needy man came to king yudhisthra, the eldest of Pandava brothers and begged help “All right, come tomorrow, your need will be fulfilled”, said Yudhisthra.
Bhimsen, the second brother of the Pandavas, got up and he sounded the gong denoting some great victory. “What is this Bhimsen? Why this gong of victory,” Yudhisthra asked surprisingly. “Sir, you have got the better of Kaal, the god of death. Hence, this gong. You are sure to live till tomorrow, you can flout and ignore Death for twenty four hours. Is it not a great victory?” replied Bhimsen in his own style.
Yudhisthra realized the implication of Bhimsen’s statements. Whatever I have to do, I must do it here and now. Why postpone till tomorrow or some future date?
He called back the man and did the needful. The common adage very nicely points to this fact of life; it is an important rule of conduct.
Do to-day, what you postpone doing tomorrow. Do this just now, which you intend to doing today. Deluge may come off any moment. In that case, when next would you do it?
The value of time is often realized after the event or after the person concerned has suffered the consequences of being late. Ask the person the value of a month, who did not go to his work for a month and had a very difficult time for the whole year. Ask the incumbent the value of a day, who joined his service a day after his colleague had given the joining report. He had to be his junior for the whole life. Ask the candidate the value of an hour, who reached late the venue of interview and was rejected for not being serious about his job. Ask the examinee who was late by more than half an hour and was not allowed to enter the examination hall. Ask the traveler the value of time, who missed his train by one minute. The competitor, who wins or loses the gold at the olymipics by a second or a fraction of a second will tell you what every moment counts for success in life. We all know that the great general of all time, Napolean Bonaparte lost the battle of his life, because his regiment had reached the spot a few minutes late.
In the story of the three fish some people take the necessary action as soon as they smell the rat or troubles, some wait till they make sure of imminent danger, while the rest adopt the ostrich way, and allow the trouble to get hold of them. Our young men and women can also be classified under three categories. The greatest sufferers are those who postpone their studies for the last moment.
Those who study for the whole year and do not fritter away even a minute, are the students who fare will at the examinations and earn name and fame for both themselves and their elders and the institutions to which they belong.
Those persons, who know and realize the value of time, know the importance of doing things in time and on time. It is these persons who are able to achieve their bad luck and gods of karma.
Some persons complain of lack of time or opportunity.But the fact is that everyone has time and opportunities do come in everybody’s life. But idle ones do not make use of them and behave like the child who cries over the split milk.
If we do not discharge the responsibilities then and there, they accumulate like the heap of arrears and it is too late when we think of clearing them. Those who do not catch the opportunity by the forelock, miss it forever, for behind it, there is a bald head. And above all, we must remember one thing that we may not live till tomorrow or may not possess the strength or means which we have at our disposal at the moment. The secret of success lies in realizing the importance of every moment and utilizing it. As is rightly said, a busy man has time for everything. If you want a work done, give it to a busy man. The reason is obvious. The busy man makes full use of his time and is in the habit of doing things on time. An idler has no time for doing things. He knows only to squander away his time and make complaints of all sorts under the sun.
As the men of wisdom have said more than once, time and tide wait for nobody, at the same time it is also true that every wave brings with it the energy of the vast ocean, so is the case with time. Every moment is full of the potency of the timeless tome. Pointing to this eternal truth, Lord Sri Krishna had asked Arjuna to do the duty at hand and not indulge in ifs and buts.
God of Time is merciful on those who realize that every moment of time is as valuable as every thread of gold, but they also say that time is a cruel rat that slowly cuts the thread of life. Do save time.
Let these words of Joseph Hall be our guide--- Those who dare lose a day are dangerously prodigal, those who dare misspend It are desperate.
Monday, March 15, 2010
A Journey from Home to House
A JOURNEY FROM HOME TO HOUSE
8th March, 2010. WOMEN’S DAY hitting a century, the day was very special for women as it was for sachin tendullker hitting double century in one day cricket match. For India, International Women’s Day will be historic in fact the whole week would be historic. If the BILL becomes law, it will set in train one of the largest exercises in female empowerment anywhere in the world, and with the High Court Granting Permanent Commission to Women in Armed Forces was a real excitement.
But, how important was the International Women’s Day for the ordinary Woman for the ordinary woman- at work, at home, on city streets and in the village? Is it just another symbolic attempt to mark a feelgood mantra?
Many say there is reason enough to be cynical about it.
There are still as many cases of rape as before.
Domestic violence still foes largely unreported.
Women continue to be tortured, burned or murdered for dowry.
Women can’t reasonably expect to travel around most Indian cities alone at night.
It remains hard to find accommodation if you are a single woman Or worse, a single mother.
Gendercide, foeticide, infanticide and girls that survive are discriminated against(compared with sons)in food, health, education and choice of livelihood.
“Really, show me one woman who is interested in celebrating Women’s Day”, says a 26 year’s old media planner. “This hoopla around it is as useful s the parade on Republic or Independence Day,” she adds.
The flipside is the need to dedicate one day to a basic truth: women equal to men and should be treated accordingly. Showing sympathy or by giving empowerment will only show the picture, but will fail to change the story.
However, the Women’s Bill crossed one hurdle in the Rajya Sabha and will have to cross another in Lok Sabha. According to the Bill, One third of the seats in the Lok Sabha and state assemblies reserved for women will be allotted by rotation, which means that once in every three elections a seat will be set aside for women and for the other two revert to a general seat. How in effect would that work? A woman who wins in a reserved seat won’t have the cushion of running against only women if she contests form the same seat in the next election. But she would of course be able to run for reelection so long as she is nominated by her party and is willing to contest on a mixed slate. Conversely, in one-third of the seats, incumbents, whether male are female, will have to sit out once in three elections. Is that such a bad thing? Not necessarily. But this will off course led to a political misbalance.
Well, the opposition party to the bill RJD & SP not only fights against the bill but also for the reservation of OBC and Muslim community in the Lok Sabha. With lalu saying ready to be Marshalled out over the Bill aggravated the situation.
Many critics denounce the creamy layer phenomenon, yet poor Dalits, tribals and backward caste are all for it. Obviously a creamy layer is less satisfactory than cream throughout. Yet a creamy layer greatly improves the access of ordinary Dalits and tribals to facilities and justice that in theory should be enjoyed by all, but in practice are enjoyed mainly by those within the most influential networks. Historically, the upper castes controlled their networks. Reservations have now given other groups entry points into the networks, and they love it.
As said by a political leader “Not everyone is a politician’s wife” but, a woman with a political background might have an edge. This was somewhat clear when Sonia Gandhi said to lalu “He(lalu Prasad) has seven daughters. I was telling him that within his family there are seven for the bill…”
Now, that was all the politics was about when we look at an practical approach in the patriarchal Indian society, making a place in the house will not serve its purpose of equality but would rather lead to partiality.
Here, I would like to recall the words of Renuka ray India’s first Minister for Relief and Rehabilitation. “....I should like to support this clause which has done away once and for all with reservation of seats for women, which we consider to be an impediment to our growth and an insult to our very intelligence and capacity”
I guess, we agree with her as woman has already made its place in various areas with her ability like Maharsh Karve starts SNDT university in pune, the first women’s university, Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit becomes first woman to hold a Union Cabinet Post, Sarojini Naidu is forst woman governer of independent India, in charge of United Provinces, Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi, Mother Teresa, Bachendri Pal, Arundhati Roy, Pratibha patil, Meira Kumar, Chanda Kochar, Kiran majmudar Shaw and the list goes on.
I would also like to disagree with Nandita Das as she said “there is no level playing field for women in politics.” There is level playing field its just needs to be explored.
So, I end with seeing a positive empowerment in women not because of reservation bill but because of the positive wave that it has passed in the INDIA.
A flash back to what SARDAR PATEL said will be a ending note.
“Why do you think that you are a minority? If you are a strong, well-organized minority, why do you want to claim safeguards, why do you want to claim privileges? It was all right when there was a third: but that is all over. That dreams a mad dream and it should be forgotten altogether”
8th March, 2010. WOMEN’S DAY hitting a century, the day was very special for women as it was for sachin tendullker hitting double century in one day cricket match. For India, International Women’s Day will be historic in fact the whole week would be historic. If the BILL becomes law, it will set in train one of the largest exercises in female empowerment anywhere in the world, and with the High Court Granting Permanent Commission to Women in Armed Forces was a real excitement.
But, how important was the International Women’s Day for the ordinary Woman for the ordinary woman- at work, at home, on city streets and in the village? Is it just another symbolic attempt to mark a feelgood mantra?
Many say there is reason enough to be cynical about it.
There are still as many cases of rape as before.
Domestic violence still foes largely unreported.
Women continue to be tortured, burned or murdered for dowry.
Women can’t reasonably expect to travel around most Indian cities alone at night.
It remains hard to find accommodation if you are a single woman Or worse, a single mother.
Gendercide, foeticide, infanticide and girls that survive are discriminated against(compared with sons)in food, health, education and choice of livelihood.
“Really, show me one woman who is interested in celebrating Women’s Day”, says a 26 year’s old media planner. “This hoopla around it is as useful s the parade on Republic or Independence Day,” she adds.
The flipside is the need to dedicate one day to a basic truth: women equal to men and should be treated accordingly. Showing sympathy or by giving empowerment will only show the picture, but will fail to change the story.
However, the Women’s Bill crossed one hurdle in the Rajya Sabha and will have to cross another in Lok Sabha. According to the Bill, One third of the seats in the Lok Sabha and state assemblies reserved for women will be allotted by rotation, which means that once in every three elections a seat will be set aside for women and for the other two revert to a general seat. How in effect would that work? A woman who wins in a reserved seat won’t have the cushion of running against only women if she contests form the same seat in the next election. But she would of course be able to run for reelection so long as she is nominated by her party and is willing to contest on a mixed slate. Conversely, in one-third of the seats, incumbents, whether male are female, will have to sit out once in three elections. Is that such a bad thing? Not necessarily. But this will off course led to a political misbalance.
Well, the opposition party to the bill RJD & SP not only fights against the bill but also for the reservation of OBC and Muslim community in the Lok Sabha. With lalu saying ready to be Marshalled out over the Bill aggravated the situation.
Many critics denounce the creamy layer phenomenon, yet poor Dalits, tribals and backward caste are all for it. Obviously a creamy layer is less satisfactory than cream throughout. Yet a creamy layer greatly improves the access of ordinary Dalits and tribals to facilities and justice that in theory should be enjoyed by all, but in practice are enjoyed mainly by those within the most influential networks. Historically, the upper castes controlled their networks. Reservations have now given other groups entry points into the networks, and they love it.
As said by a political leader “Not everyone is a politician’s wife” but, a woman with a political background might have an edge. This was somewhat clear when Sonia Gandhi said to lalu “He(lalu Prasad) has seven daughters. I was telling him that within his family there are seven for the bill…”
Now, that was all the politics was about when we look at an practical approach in the patriarchal Indian society, making a place in the house will not serve its purpose of equality but would rather lead to partiality.
Here, I would like to recall the words of Renuka ray India’s first Minister for Relief and Rehabilitation. “....I should like to support this clause which has done away once and for all with reservation of seats for women, which we consider to be an impediment to our growth and an insult to our very intelligence and capacity”
I guess, we agree with her as woman has already made its place in various areas with her ability like Maharsh Karve starts SNDT university in pune, the first women’s university, Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit becomes first woman to hold a Union Cabinet Post, Sarojini Naidu is forst woman governer of independent India, in charge of United Provinces, Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi, Mother Teresa, Bachendri Pal, Arundhati Roy, Pratibha patil, Meira Kumar, Chanda Kochar, Kiran majmudar Shaw and the list goes on.
I would also like to disagree with Nandita Das as she said “there is no level playing field for women in politics.” There is level playing field its just needs to be explored.
So, I end with seeing a positive empowerment in women not because of reservation bill but because of the positive wave that it has passed in the INDIA.
A flash back to what SARDAR PATEL said will be a ending note.
“Why do you think that you are a minority? If you are a strong, well-organized minority, why do you want to claim safeguards, why do you want to claim privileges? It was all right when there was a third: but that is all over. That dreams a mad dream and it should be forgotten altogether”
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Making a Difference
Making a difference………
Imagine pulling out your child from school just because you are unable to find a job that pays enough to support your family.
Imagine your child not being able to attend school just because of health problems due to mal nutrition.
Imagine entire generations of your family being born into bonded labour, with no hope of breaking free.
Imagine a country. Call it India, if you will, where thousands of people die of entirely preventable causes.
Outrageous? Yet 10,000 children die every single day in India. More than in any natural catastrophes, famine or war. Half of India's children are deprived of their fundamental right to education every day. Two million Indian babies die each year before they celebrate their first birthday. Millions of India's children go to bed each night hungry, hopeless and angry. We as a nation, seem quite content to tolerate this violation, says CRY.
We are upto a certain extent responsible for this violation as we live in a society as a whole where we accept that all lives have equal values, but we fail to realize the same. We start our day with every luxury we can think of and sometimes even complain for not having something or the other that may or may not be important, but we never think that not every child is as fortunate as we are.
CAN WE MAKE a DIFFERENCE?
There are many NGOs like CRY, ROTARY INTERNATIONAL PRATHAM, SMILE, YUVA UNSTOPPABLE and so on working for universal education among underprivileged children, creating the process to embrace these children into mainstream in a sustained manner, facilitating them to emerge as productive assets, and set the foundation for nation building. The grim reality, however, is that despite all these many small and large efforts the outlook for most of India's underprivileged children will not change on a significant scale.
As a student I joined an NGO under TEACH INDIA a social initiative from the Times of India that brings together children in need of education and people who can contribute a little time towards teaching them. I share a very good time with children, which gives me a satisfaction and a feeling that we can certainly can make A difference!
What we need is that we start thinking of children, not as objects of sympathy, but as citizens with the same rights that we consider our due. We start to believe, really believe, that every child, regardless of birth and circumstances is truly equal. And realize that the policies and the everyday choices we make, must seek to address the root causes of children's problems not just their superficial manifestations.
Finally, we must all - as student, parents, teachers, investors, neighbors’, businesspersons, lawyers, consumers, activists, judges, administrators, journalists and politicians alike - overcome our apathy, cynicism and sheer inertia and reconfigure our priorities to put children first. We have to light a lamp through our life and broader our view to share few moments of our life with them with a purpose of making a difference.
“It is not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.”
- Paul Bear Bryant
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